Authenticity

Recently I had the chance again to watch the American thriller "Bullitt" (1968) starring Steve McQueen, Jacquline Bisset and Robert Vaughn. To cut a long story short the plot of the movie is as follows:

A Senate subcommittee holds a hearing in San Francisco on organized crime in America. Bullitt's (Steve McQueen) unit is requested to protect a key witness Johnny Ross over the weekend until the start of the hearing Monday. The unit protects Ross around the clock in a cheap miserable hostel near the double decker Embarcadero Freeway leading up to The Golden Gate Bridge, the freeway was later demolished in the 1989 earthquake. During the weekend two hitmen intrudes the hotel room and Ross gets seriously wounded. Ross dies subsequently of his wounds, but Bullitt tries to keep the secret about the death of the key witness and starts his own investigation which leads him into the mafia. Ross's death becomes more and more of a problem for Bullitt since he was in his custody. But Bullitt succeed in proving that the murdered man was not Ross. The real Ross is on the run and is finally caught by Bullitt in the airport of San Francisco. An episode which ends with the shooting and killing of the real Ross.

But the plot of the movie is not essential to me - but the famous car chase is! - the father of later car pursuit movies - where Bullitt at first is tailed by the two hitmen and later the pursuer leading to the end of the two hitmen.

Why is a car chase with a 1968 440 CID Dodge Charger (375 b hp) and a 1968 390 CID V8 Ford Mustang GT (325 b hp) of importance during my Walkabout? Because by seeing it I recalled how important values like reliability, honesty, passion, authenticity and to be present in the moment is to me and how it brings excitement into a job when these values is part of the nerve.

So to me this is not just another stunt where two cars are chasing each other. It is the intense story about how 3 weeks of filming results in 9 minutes and 42 seconds of film. It is the story about how to succeed doing a car chase at the speeds of about 75-80 mph and camera cars up to 110 mph on the surface streets of hilly San Francisco - and being the first to do it without knowing exactly how to accomplish it. It is the story of how to work with film shooting from different angles to give the illusion of different streets - even though the chase was kept within a few city block's. It is about catching the atmosphere inside and outside of the cars. It is the story about a lot of details for instance how the interior rear-view mirror in the Mustang is up when McQueen is behind the wheel and down when the stunt man is driving, it is about how to catch the real sound of the engine, it is about how to control the cameras on the way down hill to give the audience the right feeling of the jumping up and down, it is about how to secure the cars for the struggles and so on and so on.

All in all 9 minutes and 42 seconds of intensity and authenticity - see it, feel it, listing to it - and you are there.....!

Into the Wild!

It is hard not to be absolutely fascinated by the story about young Christopher Johnson McCardless who in 1992 gave up everything and walked  into the wilderness to be found dead four months later in Alaska by some moose hunters. McCardless gave up his privileged life and comfort in search of adventure. Many people have been affected by McCardless's life and dead. Some characterizes him as naive, a reckless idiot, an arrogant narcissist and others admires him for his courage and noble ideals.

I'm not the one to judge about McCardless and his Walkabout but there are indeed parallels to my own Walkabout. Being out there in the jobless wilderness anxious for the content of the future, what is actually my own (job) identity? And what about the following line:"I read somewhere how important it is in life not necessary to be strong but to feel strong....to matter yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most anxious of human conditions". Being sacked is for me and by many others characterized as an identity crisis – from one day to the next you are nothing in a job oriented western world. The text line brings for me thoughtfulness and possibilities into this chaos – there is here an opportunity to use this “room of nothing” as fuel for reflection on how to move on towards a new job identity – not necessary easy but a chance worth trying!

Judge for yourself - find the book here and the movie here - but start taking a look at the music video by Eddie Vedder and listen to the song lines.

I am what I think!

Very often the mentality and circumstances of our surroundings have a huge influence on how we feel and on how we create over own self-image. Being unemployed is an exposed position for pressure from the surrounding society: loss of personal identity, the feeling of being controlled by rules and regulations by the authorities - "the system", reduced possibilities due to economical limitations, personal expectations - thoughts like "I need to prove that I'm back in a new job soon" and unsaid expectations from friends, former colleagues and family - they think "I'm nothing if I do not have a job". I realizes in periods that this indefinable picture of self-created and real influences catches me in a sort of a box where I feel very sorry for myself and are unhappy with the whole situation - and from that position it is very difficult to be outgoing, to take the initiative, meet new people and to take the yellow jersey - which is needed when it comes to the process of finding a new job.

Therefore it is even more important to fight against this self-perception and try to find a personal way which enrich one's life mentally. This Walkabout is one of the mentally processes I use to avoid looser mentally and to give myself my creative energy back.

Take a look at this short clip with Director and Inventor of The Eden Project Tim Smith. The Eden Project is situated in Cornwall, UK and deals with our dependence on and connection to the natural world. Tim uses very few words to describe the project but being a very enthusiastic fiery soul he is able to set the scene in relation to looser and winner mentality - hear his voice and look at his expression - and enjoy the smile of the newsreader at the end! It is hard not to feel better afterwards! See it here... (partly in Danish I'm afraid!)

Simplicity

Uffe Harder (1930 - 2002) was a Danish poet and writer. His poetry was characterized by simplicity (meant positive!) in its expression and wondering at the phenomena in life. 

Being in a chaotic situation I find simplicity a relief and a way to relax and recover.

Bellevue is a beach north of Copenhagen. I used some time last autumn taking pictures there and here is one of those and a poem by Uffe Harder from the collection of poems called "Positions" (Positioner, da), 1964. The translation is unauthorized made by myself.

Bellevue

September

Sand
wire
a row of beach cubicles
with letters

holes in the ground
wind across the sand
waves
deepening darkness
small water basins with fountains
for drinking

no traffic on the roads
the car alone in the car park
deepening darkness
sand
coldness
leaves on the trees
on the threshold of my thirtieth year
here on the sand
in the deepening darkness
and the wind
the questions assume
a painful likeness
to answers

How am I doing this?

Not much time is left in a busy daily round for reflection on what to do in the future. I will take the chance and let reflection and interests set the direction for a while and see what happens. Coincidences has a great influence on our life and my Walkabout is an attempt to push myself into a more chaotic and unpredictable direction. So for the time being my personal interests and reflections on subjects, people, themes, projects, books, exhibitions, pictures etc. will set the direction and sometime in the future we will see if the pieces of this puzzle fall into place and form the frame for a new job life.

I think the following classical scene "You're the man now, Dog!" from the movie "Finding Forrester" says more than many words about how to go Walkabout. Take a look at the scene where Jamal Wallace discovers a new writer in his own self gently (!) provoked and pushed forward by his best friend a withdrawn writer played by Sean Connery.

As in the movie I will see if it possible to turn the pages in the job seeking quicker and more pleasantly from page 1 to 2 by using Walkabout!
 

Why am I doing this?

I guess a lot of whys can be asked!

But this is first of all a personal process - working myself out of an unemployment situation. It is an attempt to turn a complicated position into a positive and more energetic creative work flow by letting coincidence and interest rule. I think there are alternatives to traditional job seeking by applications and that to go Walkabout is one of them with the purpose of increasing the network and broaden my own horizon at the same time.

Another purpose is to take a position to or try to relate to habits, behaviors, taboos and myths connected to being unemployed. It is very common in our society to put people into boxes without asking which one we want to belong to. As time goes by we begin to believe that our picture of the boxed people is true and people inside and outside the box start to act and behave according to this picture. Very much of this is unspoken knowledge in our society, among friends, family and former colleagues but does it have to be like that? And are there connections to other areas, groups of people which it could be interesting to learn from? I think very little has been said and written about these issue so my intention is to reflect during the course of events how I feel about it - a kind of mirroring of my self - from a human perspective and reflect on subjects related to the psychology of being unemployed. My hope is to contribute to a more visible context and a more equal dialog among us about this area instead of just being hold captured in my own box trying to get out!

Why do I have to make this public? Sometimes it is better to face the facts and look the situation in the face and let the unsaid be said - actually it already feels better and has created a more spacious mental room. Other reasons are to push myself forward since this Walkabout is about breaking habits too.

Why is the language English? Because I want to share this with known and unknown relations and friends across borders and again by doing something different than just continue writing in Danish is another way of extending the boundaries.

And least but not last. If this could inspire others to try something a bit different in an unemployment situation - write a book, make a movie, build something, join something - anything that makes it easier to put one foot in front of the other and to keep the personal process on the right track - is has been worth doing.

Feel free to put forward more whys and to comment in Danish if it feels more convenient.