I think that it from time to time is worthwhile trying to establish a reality test of my own situation or you can say putting it into a new set of proportions. It is very easy under stressful circumstances to build an imaginary reality or self-perception based on own imaginations and fantasies. This self-perception is not necessary a true picture of the reality - whatever that looks like - but is a picture or perception with a lot of empty holes with yet unknown information. This perception can have its source in fear for the future, in feeling self pity, having anxiety of the unknown, having unrealistic dreams etc. I find it healthy to challenge this self image, trying to push it in a new direction to see if it makes more sense to me. This is not necessarily an easy task to do - the reality can be very well hidden:
“There are things known and things unknown and in between are the doors.”, Jim Morrison (Letters from Joe)
The room with unknown information behind "the doors" is a huge source to imaginations and fantasies and "the doors" symbolizes the challenges and hurdles I struggle with on my way. "The doors" starts in a strange way to build up when a new situation occur. The trick for me is to carefully open the doors and catch some new information, which can exchange the unknown information in the empty holes with something known, the invisible with something visible and the superficial with meaningful content. Part of my process is to listen to people's stories and to talk to them to get their reflections on life. Or by reading and observing what's going on around me and thereby constantly opening the doors and incorporating new pieces of reality into the big picture - thereby putting my self-perception into a new perspective. For instance - what about these reflections on reality:
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”, Jim Morrison
This quote reminded me of "Love Hurts", written and composed by Boudleaux Bryant. It has been performed by many great artists. First by The Everky Brothers in 1960 later by Emmylou Harris, Roy Orbinson, Gram Parsons and others. I prefer the intensive and saturated version by the hard rock / heavy metal band Nazareth who took the song to a U.S. Top 10 in 1975. Listen to this 1974 performance and enjoy the intensity of vocalist Dan McCafferty...
