A day at the office!

Experiences from a recent meeting at the local outplacement bureau which is working for the local authority.

My past which remained the past
The walls have the same white color, the tables are the same as last time, set as at the doctor's,  three in total, one chair in front and one behind - but the
caseworker is new. She tells about her past – AF (employment service),  Kultorvet (job center) and about her current job at the local outplacement bureau which is working for the local authority - very stimulating for her apparently. I think: "Where am I in this? - But small talk is always a good way to learn to know each other!" I'm waiting to see when we'll come to who I am and what I need, although it all feels like it starts all over again like the first meeting. But it's just that, we do not. My history with the local outplacement bureau remains in the past, my CV and I personally seem to be uninteresting – the case worker only briefly listens to what I have done lately and asks shortly about whether I got my last job through a program for unemployed people (!) - No I did not - I found it myself at that time 10 years ago in the queue in Metro (local super store) – using my network - no reflection or reaction to see on the other side of the table.

My course will be rectified
My future is very quickly getting complicated - I do not have the right ticks in the
journal. Another case worker is called. An intense and technical discussion takes place between the first and the arriving caseworker - it's obviously complicated - is he a HIG'er? - Has he taken the writing course? - How with this or that course? - He must be activated – it is almost time for that! In itself interesting to observe how it is possible to plan someone else's future without asking him. Minutes goes by and becomes more of its kind – I'm loosing myself there at the chair in front of the desk – but somehow I pull myself together and hear myself saying: "Maybe someone has evaluated individually, that I should not
participate on the writing course!". The continuous talking stops briefly and a head is turned towards me - but only for a short time - then the discussion continues. I have now been upgraded to "the candidate". It takes a little time before I become aware that the candidate is me and that my candidacy is to get a new job. "The candidate has a right to know what the requirements are!" - Yes but I'm also siting here and looking forward to join the talk. Gradually, the solution is obvious - a four week course will solve the problems – by joining that I will fit into the system and be back on the track again - my course is rectified - it is clearing up from a system point of view. A head is turned towards me noting: "You can probably understand that if you don't have the right ticks and the requirements are not met, we as the local outplacement bureau will not get the job next time! " - The discussion between the two case workers continues. Well to me it sounds reasonable that we secure two jobs for the case workers rather than one for me ...

It is probably best for you
Time passes and I feel more and more runned-over and without any influence – I'm just sitting - collapsing on a chair in front of the desk. There is a lot of typing on the keyboard - the journal is updated – I'm systematized!. A leaflet about work experience in a company is pushed across the table: "You've been to several meetings, have you not heard about this?" - A fleeting wonder passed her face, however is was quickly swept away: "It's probably best for you!". Now I begin to come to myself - in front of the desk - now it is becoming enough. Three quarters has past with requirements I had to meet - "Where am I in this?" - "But we know what goals we must meet, therefore......" the case worker tried. "But my situation now is that the .....!" For the first time the two case workers looks at me and listens for a short time. "But what about the ticks?" asks the first caseworker. The second case worker now takes leadership and makes a plan: "Well - go home and think about it – and then we can talk about it next time"....... I leave the office with the white walls - new candidates has arrived and a case worker has risen from his desk and are in the process of counting and pointing at a wall calendar - it's obviously something with timetables and activation - the candidate sits silently chewing the side bar of his glasses and watch the arms swinging up and down. I trudges across the parking lot – I'm shocked, my whole body is shaking,  I feel slighted, I feel the humiliation and the feeling of not having control over my own situation – this is meaningless.

"Don´t forget the parking card!" someone is shouting after me - the first caseworker is clearly nervous that I will not hand it back! I return the parking card - the caseworker is relieved, now she is in control of the situation. I return to the home base - wondering how long it is necessary to put up with this? And
wondering if others have suffered similar experiences?

PS. The next meeting was canceled because of reorganization -
so now it starts all over again again ......what a waste of mental and economical resources.

Why am I doing this?

I guess a lot of whys can be asked!

But this is first of all a personal process - working myself out of an unemployment situation. It is an attempt to turn a complicated position into a positive and more energetic creative work flow by letting coincidence and interest rule. I think there are alternatives to traditional job seeking by applications and that to go Walkabout is one of them with the purpose of increasing the network and broaden my own horizon at the same time.

Another purpose is to take a position to or try to relate to habits, behaviors, taboos and myths connected to being unemployed. It is very common in our society to put people into boxes without asking which one we want to belong to. As time goes by we begin to believe that our picture of the boxed people is true and people inside and outside the box start to act and behave according to this picture. Very much of this is unspoken knowledge in our society, among friends, family and former colleagues but does it have to be like that? And are there connections to other areas, groups of people which it could be interesting to learn from? I think very little has been said and written about these issue so my intention is to reflect during the course of events how I feel about it - a kind of mirroring of my self - from a human perspective and reflect on subjects related to the psychology of being unemployed. My hope is to contribute to a more visible context and a more equal dialog among us about this area instead of just being hold captured in my own box trying to get out!

Why do I have to make this public? Sometimes it is better to face the facts and look the situation in the face and let the unsaid be said - actually it already feels better and has created a more spacious mental room. Other reasons are to push myself forward since this Walkabout is about breaking habits too.

Why is the language English? Because I want to share this with known and unknown relations and friends across borders and again by doing something different than just continue writing in Danish is another way of extending the boundaries.

And least but not last. If this could inspire others to try something a bit different in an unemployment situation - write a book, make a movie, build something, join something - anything that makes it easier to put one foot in front of the other and to keep the personal process on the right track - is has been worth doing.

Feel free to put forward more whys and to comment in Danish if it feels more convenient.